Today was an interesting day. Interesting, and lonely. I had to live with myself today, without any of the distractions I usually have. It wasn't good or bad, but it did have a tinge of despair. Today was my first day in my new apartment. All that's in it right now is light, darkness, and my bed.
This is the first time I have lived away from home since I got back from college over 4 years ago. I'm trying to decide if it's a watershed moment in my life, or if I just think to much. It's probably a bit of both. Living by yourself just seems so economically, socially, and environmentally wasteful.
At some point after I woke up I decided I needed to get out. I couldn't sleep anymore and didn't relish the idea of siting there and staring at a wall for 5 hours. I ended up heading to a Schueler Books in the area. A weird thought occurred to me as I walked silently among the aisles. Even though there was a substantial number of people there, there wasn't very much interaction between any of the disparate groups. It seemed like we were more comfortable conversing with the past than to converse with each other in the present. Obviously this isn't the totality of the scene, but It was an interesting thought.
I didn't end up purchasing anything from the bookstore. The mission of the trip was just to waste some time anyways. Afterwards, I decided to waste some more time at a Walmart nearby. As I wandered through the store I came upon a section of shower fixtures. I absolutely love bathing. It relaxes me like nothing else. I was excited to make my first addition to my new appartment. Which in retrospect seems very underwhelming, but if it can enhance my bathing experience it will be more than worth the $12.00 I spent. I am now the proud owner of a romovable shower head with hose attachment.
I suppose I was also happy with the purchase, because it gave me a sense of control durring a time of change and uncertainty. I can definately see consumerism creeping into my thinking. Buying stuff allows me to be rhetorical. When I purchase things I want them to be of both style and substance. The problem with this is that consumerism provides a false sense of identity. I don't think I am what I buy, but it's tempting to think so.
The reason I moved into this new apartment, hung out at Schueler Books, and bought a new shower head was because I'm working at a new job. I work third shift for Waypoint Telecommunications monitoring fiber optic networks. It is alternately boring and stressful. It does allow me certain freedoms that other jobs wouldn't. For that I am very thankful.
Well that is all I'm going to write about for now. So much has happened in a short period of time, some more "unpacking" is definitely called for, just not right now.